Five Questions: Boundary Keeper

My friend Dee Squared is another lady I've met via the joys of the internet. Whenever someone needs a prayer, or a kind word, Dee is there. She strongly advises that people keep proper emotional boundaries so that they don't get sucked into other people's drama, and she often recommends the book "Boundaries" by Cloud & Townsend. Many military spouses have benefited from this advice, whether they've read the book or not.

Thank you, Dee, for taking the time to answer. :)



1. What are five things you know now about military life that you wish someone had told you?

A - A good attitude can go a long way in any situation. Is the glass half-full, or is it half-empty?

B - You have to be really flexible sometimes - Semper Gumby! If your hubby calls you in the middle of the day unexpectedly, be prepared for, "Honey, have you ever heard of XYZ Base? There's a slot open there that I might be sent to fill." Ask me how I know.

C - Your closest friends may be people you've never met in person, but perhaps if you're REALLY lucky, you may be able to get together once or twice in this crazy life we live. LOL!

D - Never be afraid to ask questions, and don't stop until you're satisfied you know what you need to know. And don't think you know everything there is to know about military life. Things are always changing, and what might be policy 10 years ago may no longer be so now.

E - Stay out of your husband's work issues. You wouldn't want him dealing with your work issues, so afford him the same respect. This does not mean, however, that you can't be there to listen to him and offer advice. Just don't be too quick to run down to his office to fight his battles for him, no matter how tempted you may be. I've learned to ask, "Do you want advice, or do you just need to vent?"

2. What is the most important thing you'd like to tell new spouses?

Arm yourself with the knowledge about the military. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Seek out a long-time military wife and learn from her.

3. What do you love the most?

I've loved the opportunity to experience various parts of the world that I probably would never have thought of going to if I'd not been in/involved with the military.

4. What do you find the hardest?

Saying good-bye to friends (for PCS) and to my husband (for deployments).

5. Tell me a story that sums up military life for you.

When my oldest was in preschool, there was an event at her school where family/friends were invited to attend. I was making conversation and asked another student's grandmother, "So, how long are you in town for?" The answer: "We live down the street from him (the student)." LOL! I'm so used to our nomadic lifestyle that I just automatically assume grandparents live far away.