Orientation

I want to write, but my head is so full of information and thoughts and feelings that anything I come up with seems scattered and disorganized. Big G’s orientation to college felt unworldly, interspersed as it was with new impressions (her joy, her growing confidence) and my own memories (we registered for classes via old phones set on rickety tables, pencils and paper standing ready). To complicate matters, Big G will be attending my first college. Though I did not finish my education there, the campus is as comforting and familiar to me as a well-worn leather jacket that had been in the back of the closet for years—familiar, yet different because I have grown and changed. In this case, of course, the campus has changed a great deal as well. But oh, so have I.

I wonder, as Big G walks around the campus, if she will imagine her mom in those classrooms. I wonder if she will find that pond where I used to eat my lunch, and enjoy the quiet of the breeze through the treetops. I wonder at what newness she will feel as she begins this new adventure on her own, and what discoveries she will make about herself and her world.

I wonder, a little bit, about the girl I was back then. I feel as though I got to know her again, for that small time as Big G and I explored the campus. Someday Big G will revisit her own youth and that bright-eyed girl will join her on her travels. I wish us all well.