Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sisters of Another Sort

There is an unspoken bond among military wives. I don’t know enough military husbands to say the same thing about them, and although it may tick off some people, the fact is that we’ve been around longer.

We share a language of commiseration that few outside our circles would really understand.

• Why Murphy and his law are evil incarnate. (One friend calls it Murphina’s Law because no man has ever given her as much trouble as that bitch has…)

• How to ask that one question that the CO didn’t have an answer for yet.

• How to smile and tell our babies how much they are loved, while we grieve inside for all the missed moments.

• How to be both parents at the same time; it is not like being a single parent, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But it is difficult in its own way, because we must get input from the other parent as if they are there, even at those times when they aren’t.

• How to make any place feel like home, moments after moving in.

And we know how to come together as a disparate group, with differences in personality and background, and bond in amazing and lasting ways.

I count several Army wives among my dearest friends. They are my battle buddies. I am not one to just “let it go” among many people, and yet with these women I can be myself, however that self is feeling that day.

We don’t even have to know each other in real life or be close friends to share that bond, though.

On July 10, a young soldier was severely injured in Afghanistan. A group of Army wives who knew each other online through a community forum started prayer chains for this young Soldier (and for his wife). He was airlifted to Germany, and his wife was trying to get to Germany as fast as she could get there—

And another Army wife, living in Germany, dealing with her own struggles so far from home, stepped up. She went to sit with him until his wife could. She went to lay eyes on him, when only other Soldiers and medical staff had done so. She went to be a spouse, sitting with her Soldier, until that Soldier’s wife could be there.

She said, afterwards, that she drove home saying “thank you, God, thank you” the whole way, because she is so blessed. She knows the truth, that the Soldier in that bed in Germany could be any of our men. That spouse, filled with urgency and love, could be any of us.

She said it wasn’t about her, only about the other wife and her husband.

I am so proud to be a member of this sisterhood. I count myself blessed to know such amazing people. Please, keep Sgt. Joshua Stahl and his wife in your prayers.


  1. Love you Casey, and Najia, and Truda. I spoke with Truda today and she was overwhelmed by the love and support. What else can we do and where else would we be but praying? Her husband stood there in all our places, defending us. Now we stand and support them both. Thank you Casey!

  2. I don't know what to say but thank you, Casey.

  3. This was beautiful to read. I am honored to call you all my ARMY sisters

  4. You are welcome, Najia. Thank you for showing me a little more of the "me" I want to be.