Happy Mothers' Day

Facebook is on fire with Mothers' Day posts...  Husbands helping kids make breakfast, sweet kid whispers "we told her we'd wait til 9", flowers and chocolates and acts of kindness.

My own gift was a 3-minute phone call that took him 15 minutes of hitting "send" over and over until he could get a connection.  Hearing "I just wanted to be sure to call you" made my day.

I talked to my Mom, I talked to his Mom, I talked to my Mom2 who has been as much a mother to me over the years as anyone has.  I got hugs, and hellos, and smiles, and a chocolate-covered strawberry from Culvers, which was amazing.

I've tried to focus on the day, but a part of my heart is thinking about other people this Mothers' Day.

There is the 90-year-old woman, sobbing over her own mother's grave.  50 years and the pain is still fresh for her.

There are the friends who hold their kids and families tighter, because they know what it is to bury a child.  And somehow, some way, pick up their lives and live again.

There is the mother whose child will never make her breakfast, and never make her a grandma-- but who loves her daughter enough to always look at the bright side.

There is the boy who graduates high school soon, and his sister, who wish for one more year to tell their own mother "Happy Mothers' Day".  I know the angels are holding her close, but we all miss her sass and spirit.

There are the single moms, some of whom are fighting for the best things for their children despite the difficult choices this requires.

There are those who always thought they'd have children by now, but don't.  They funnel their energies and love into four-legged children, or nephews, or the students and patients they reach every day.  To them I say, you are still mothers.  You give so much heart and soul and love to everyone you touch.

There are also the mothers, miles away from their children, who are forgotten.  I am an optimistic person, and I believe most of these children probably meant to call, or send a card, or they just don't realize how sweet it is to hear "I appreciate you," "I'm glad to call you my mother" on a day like this.  I know their hearts still ache.

So to all of these women and children, sons and daughters, I say "Happy Mothers' Day" to you, most of all, because I know the day can be difficult.  I hope tomorrow is brighter, and the pain fleeting.

Desiderata (For Big G)

With all due apologies and credit to Max Ehrmann, I wanted to add my thoughts to his "Desiderata." An aunt gave Big G a copy of the poem (in a book of kitty pictures) after graduation, and the poem has been resonating with me ever since.

So here goes:


Go placidly amid the noise and haste, (Learn to be quiet in chaos)
and remember what peace there may be in silence. (Learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes)

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons. (Apologize if need be, but keep to your own truth)
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; (Stand up for yourself)
and listen to others, (Meaning me, especially)
even the dull and the ignorant; (Yes, them too.)
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit. (And hard to have as houseguests.)

If you compare yourself with others, (I think you’re marvelous)
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. (Taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, smarter, dumber…you get the idea. Be yourself.)

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. (Sometimes the fun is in the dreaming.)
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; (Watch for burnout.)
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; (Watch out for debt, yours and the government’s)
for the world is full of trickery. (Read the fine print. Twice.)
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; (You can be a realistic optimist)
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism. (I love this line—always be on the lookout for good.)

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection. (Don’t pretend to love someone you only care for…but if you really love, love deeply.)
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass. (It comes back, it re-grows. Sometimes where you don’t expect it to be.)

Take kindly the counsel of the years, (Listen to your Mother.)
gracefully surrendering the things of youth. (No miniskirts after 35…but this does not mean you can’t enjoy a good silly giggle from time to time.)
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. (If you are strong within, you can handle a lot of stress without.)
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. (Real life is scary enough.)
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. (Get some rest and call a friend.)

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself. (Don’t be so hard on yourself that you lose sight of joy.)
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. (You have a right to BE.)
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. (I'm glad I'm not the one who has to figure it out.)

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be, (Or Her. Or Them.)
and whatever your labors and aspirations,http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. (Remember to breathe deep and keep some stillness within.)

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. (Oh, is it ever…)
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy. (For that is all I ever wanted for you.)